The second doctor I saw this week couldn't conceal his worry when he examined my abdomen, which has a large mass that keeps increasing in size. He said he suspected it was a tumor and scheduled a CT Scan. Forty Five minutes before the scan I drank a Berry Smoothie Readi-CAT 2, a barium sulfate suspension. Due to its high molecular density, its opaque to x-rays and therefore, acts as a positive contrast agent for radiographic studies. My only worry at this point was does this contain dairy or gluten. It was a milky substance that wasn't altogether bad, however I found out that the milky color occurred because of the barium sulfate and there was no gluten, so at least this substance wouldn't make me sick later and that was comforting. Next I waited … for a while, but this gave me a chance to work on my Bible study that had gone by the wayside since I had heard this disturbing news.
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| Progress! |
Next up … me. I followed the nurse to a room that contained another massive machine. As the technician inserted an IV, she asked me to place my hands over my head as my body slid into the doughnut-shaped machine. X-rays went through my body with each rotation of the scanner, providing pictures of the abdomen. An automated voice prompted me when to hold my breath and breathe sliding me in and out of the machine. As I laid there I tried to be brave as she put the dye into my IV and informed me I would feel a warm sensation all over my body and have a faint warm metallic taste in the back of my mouth. It happened immediately. I felt like I was lit up on the inside and that startled me. I asked her to hold my hand and she did, but said she had to step out to complete the test. I'm glad that the feeling didn't last long and was relieved when it passed. Another 30 seconds and it was complete. I wondered what would come of it and tried not to think of it at all. I was going to trust God no matter the outcome.
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| Creed's first A! |
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| Tracing mechanics of the alphabet |
The phrase from the Nick Jr. program, Peter Rabbit, "Rabbits are brave! Rabbits are brave! Rabbits are brave!," by Peter Rabbit's loyal companion, Benjamin Bunny, kept cycling through my mind when I called the doctor's office the next day for the results. It is in fact, not a tumor, but a residual pocket of accumulated fluid from the last corrective surgery in April of this year. Surgery scheduled for early October. How bizarre is that? What a relief! It's one thing saying you trust God, but quite another when you must walk it out. Can you trust and still be scared sometimes? Do you ever wonder if God allows us to fall apart so HE can pick up the pieces. Are some circumstances permitted to build our faith? What I have come to understand is, He is my fairy tale. He is my happy ending. I will trust in him. I will not be moved. I will not be shaken. Those words from "We Won't Be Shaken," by the group Building 429, have become my theme for living.
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| Learning curves |
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| Earning "points" |
This morning was so rewarding as I attentively observed Creed tracing the mechanics of the alphabet. I said, "Yay! You did it!" And he jumped up and down in response hooting to my enthusiasm. I decided to try another tactic since I knew he
knew how to do it, but just didn't
want to do it - a reward system. The little rolls of sweet tarts provide a lot of motivation! He eagerly pointed out the alphabet and numbers. We're still working on the letter U and get hung up on the phonics saying an "ahhh," instead of "uhhhh." I was over the moon happy. I just finished "The Duggars: 20 and Counting," by Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, and Michelle explains how she gives candy to the children that memorize the Bible verses. There is a substantial amount of resources provided in the back of the book. I keep thinking if she can do it with 19, now, I can surely do it! Her tips and tricks are definitely appreciated.
Creed and I played with a sensory game, digging out the alphabet among white and black beans and grain, but he was more concerned with separating the white beans into a can, which he called his magic beans. After this he asked to work on his Apple Tree Book. He put three apples on the tree (every week we add another apple) and decided to draw some caterpillars. He had fun learning on abcmouse.com, while I prepared lunch.
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| Separating the "magic" beans |
One line that really stood out from "The Duggars: 20 and Counting," was: when you want to yell, whisper. I've been practicing correction with a soft voice. I find that raising my voice isn't effective anyway. After all, Proverbs 15:1, a soft voice turns away anger is really true. I've noticed some difference within myself, as well as my child. Our house has always been a quiet peaceful place, unless Creed is running from one end of the hall to the other bumping his cars around or friends are visiting.
Their parenting philosophy, adapted from another family's guidelines to fit their own family goals, includes established boundaries along with emotional and behavioral goals they set for their children, as well as themselves. I admire this list!
Duggar Parenting Philosophy:
- Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well
- Always display kind actions, even when you've been mistreated
- Show joyful attitudes, even when no one is looking
- Have sincere motives, with no thought of self gain
- Think pure thoughts
- Always give a good report of others. Never tale-bear, unless physical harm will come to someone. Matthew 18
- Never raise a hand to hit
- Never raise a foot to kick
- Never raise an object to throw
- Never raise a voice to yell
- Never raise an eye to scowl
- Use one toy/activity at a time
- Never let the sun go down on your wrath
- Amendment, J.O.Y.: Put Jesus FIrst, Others Second, Yourself Last and Make Serving Family a Priority.
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